Tag / beauty

Because I wanted to.  Because it felt right.  Because I was curious.  Because I didn’t know.

You keep your cool like it ain’t no thing.  But I’m goin mad behind a facade of shy.  I’m not.  So if you see me acting that way, you know I’m hiding what’s up.  What’s up – I catch your eye for hypnotic moment, but the lashes beat slowly, heavily before lowers the gaze.

Because black looks good on you.  Because you have perfect things.  Because you hold your tongue at times.  But you always have the right opinion.

How could there be such a thing!

No need for keys in nine years.  No storage space, no debt.  Just me and my body moving across this earth finding life is free.  My value is in my currency.  It would take a city like LA to stimulate me.  Late again out and no cease in sight.  It’s only Thursday nite.  It’s only Thursday nite.

Because you fit in my hands.  Because you sing strongly out.  Because my cheek feel how very soft your cheek.  I will dream about that now.

You pull me towards you and this time it’s I who feels hesitation.  There is no barrier, but I must be sure.  You know how much I already love you.  That will not change.  I wonder what will.

Something will change.

A guitar pick, a baggie of water and pieces of a Stargazer lily.

A young, tattooed-everywhere man pulls his trick BMX off the front of the bus.  An old, dark skin man wants me to know how beautiful I am.

I saw a man with no hands today.  His bare feet were black from street and thick like shoe soles.  He can obviously not tie or comb or steal.

The jasmine climbs the rain pipe.

I am so thankful for all the people whom have shown me love when I am down.  They will love me.  They will save me.  They will tie my shoes, comb my hair and offer what I need.

Where were the people who love you, Black Soles.  Why do you have no hands?

A vase of Stargazers, soon to perish, hold on to what’s left of living with all they’ve got.

Because when I walked off that little UCAP (Up Close And Personal) stage, I felt it. I was living the reason why women love burlesque. My cast mate said to me “look at you – you look sexy” “your legs are so long” “your butt looks great” and I said “I do” “they do” “it does” without vanity. Just assuredness because I wasn’t actually at all concerned any more about how I looked. I was detached from how I looked at all, hence I could see what she was sayin and accept the compliment – even agree objectively with it. I wasnt concerned with how I looked because how i FELT was what we all wanna feel; I felt unshakably sexy. I felt undistractably confident. I felt like I would rock any instrument I picked up, ace any test I took, connect with anyone Id meet – I felt empowered. I felt like I was everything good about being a woman.

That is why women love burlesque.

Especially me.

The moon presses it’s pregnant belly against the glass. Impatiently loosing cool light to my feet – caught out of shadow in the bath. The tub holds me a warm experience. The tub holds my private ocean.

You sent me flowers.  Who are you?

Did you know it would make me feel loved?  And surrounded by warm, fun things.  Did you know how wandering I’ve been?

They aren’t even flowers, but cabbages.  Brassica cornucopia of the of the decorative kind.  A vase of decorative cabbages with congrats and pride on a card unsigned.

Who are you that thought of me once today so fondly?  And left me with a vegetable center piece I imagine dancing around with a character I can really relate to – you; who sent me flowers.

Welcome home to your vacation.

I’ve got an idea and you listen and add to it. You’ve got some feelings and I get the immensity through your subtlety. Your mind is pretty and it’s fun to get inside. It’s right when we touch because it’s an expression of mutual respect. A best friend is worth it all. No matter how long its been.

This city is rotten with inspiration. This city is your healthy lunch left in a hot car for 3 days with 80% humidity. This city sounds like the breath of a broken man’s smile amplified through brass. This city’s streets are crumbling from speed humps the ground threw up itself just to slow you down. This city feels like nothing to do/no place to be. This city knows beauty isn’t always pretty.

Perpetual dissatisfaction. Continual striving thriving. Challenging my innate homo sapian skills. And doing it. Doing it. Doing it. Doing it.

That feeling of species-specific pride when one has rocked a challenging task. Our pets, performing animals and barnyard societies, like us, need it, too. I am healthy when I have been challenged. And tried something new. And figured out how to make it happen. And learn a new skill that took my entire energenetic pool up a notch in potential, karma – entropy.

I See Beauty: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entropy_(information_theory)

More, I want more, I want more. If dissatisfaction keeps more so ultimately satisfying, why would I ever want content? This will never end ’cause I want more. More, give me more, give me more.

I work hard and hardly work and play pretty much the entire time either way. I’m appreciate watching the Sun and the cycles from the same spot most days. I have a relationship to the path of the Sun, the way it feels at noon vs. 6. I have a relationship to my body. I have a relationship to wide open windows on the apartment, on the car. I relate to what it feels like to share secrets.

I can feel the moon in the breeze. It’s full and the breeze is empty. A full moon is a cat stealing your breath while you sleep. So hungry to receive. Powerful receiving.

A cold clammy breath stealeth she. Down my neck, exposed and vulnerable, attention creeps. I feel like another woman is living me. She never takes, she always receives.

I give my body heat. I give curiosity. I give creativity. I give. I receive.

Where else can we meet? Wherever you are, it’s the same moon shining on you that shines on me.